We live in a world that is obsessed with the external. Everyday, your child is exposed to media that bombards her with images of skinny girls pretending to be overjoyed with their malnourishment. It's no wonder girls as young as 8 or even 6 years old are already concerned about their weight! And this concern should get you concerned.
An article in Breezy Mama addresses how you can help your child have a healthy body image, with tips from pediatrician Dr. Chrystal de Freitas:
BODY IMAGE: TIPS FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD HAVE A HEALTHY ONE
After hearing two six year olds ask one another if they look fat, what would you have recommended I had said?
Children need to be taught that a person’s value is not based on whether they are fat, or on how they look but on how they behave towards others and themselves.
In addition remind children that everyone is different and that our bodies are gifts to them from their parents. Encourage children to find their unique characteristic. This could be that they are funny, athletic, smart, caring and innumerable other traits that make part of our human nature. Nurture that along with a good diet and a healthy portion of exercise.
For moms with older children, what signs should they look for that could indicate an eating disorder?
Signs of an eating disorder may be very subtle and often go unnoticed for months. If your child is experiencing a rapid weight loss, always makes an excuse for not eating, starts to use baggy clothing (as a way to hide the weight loss), plays with his/her food shifting it around in the plate but not eating it – all of these can be red flags. You may also notice an almost obsessive compulsion to exercise. In the more extreme cases, a girl may miss her period, feel light headed and complain of temperature changes – being too cold. These are just a few of the many signs of an eating disorder.
What steps should they take if they suspect their child may have one?
You should visit your health care provider and be open with your concerns. Periodic weight checks and close follow up with a mental health professional may be needed as well as with a nutritionist.
To read the rest of this insightful article, click here!
PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
Have you ever noticed such behavior from your children? How did you deal with it? Do you think a parent's self-esteem will impact how his/her own children will see themselves?
Cheerios!
Rach
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Friday, April 16, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Mom, Do I Look Fat?
There’s no business like show business. Indeed.
Much has already been said about the power and influence that celebrities have over society. Especially these days. Suddenly, it’s not “hot” to be healthy, otherwise you might be called—gasp!—FAT.
Unless you have been sleeping in a cryogenic chamber for the past decade, you would know that not having a 21-inch waist makes you, like, eeeew obese, since “fat” is the new dreaded F word. Now being skin-and-bones is the new “sexy,” promiscuity is trendy and stupidity is cute.
It’s foolish to put all the blame on “the stars above,” of course. To be fair, they’re only humans too and did not wield magical powers to make us involuntarily imitate or tolerate their actions. And there are those who are at the opposite side of the spectrum—who can actually act, for one, and who don’t involve themselves in situations that would compromise their values. The thing is, we don’t see them too often, do we? Because all the cameras love something a lot more juicy.
Sadly, it’s not just us who have been taking notice—kids too. Girls, particularly, who are beginning to take a little longer staring at the mirror, and in their tender ages, wondering “Do I look fat?”
A friend of mine recently told me of one unforgettable day when her lovely, perfectly healthy eight-year-old daughter came up to her and asked earnestly, “Mom, am I fat?” My friend said she started noticing a change in her exuberant, bubbly daughter one summer, when she absolutely refused to get into the pool with her friends as she was too embarrassed to put her swim suit on. Later she would shy away from school activities and would socialize with other kids less and less. The one thing that would cheer her up is whenever my friend would dress her up nicely, with matching cute hair accessories.
As a mother, your child will always be beautiful in your eyes. When she begins looking down on herself, of course, your first impulse is to find out who or what has been breeding such negative feelings in your child. But let’s not forget that children mirror what they see. We have to be very careful. It could be the images of skinny socialites she sees on TV, but it could also be mommy, whom she often hears ranting about flabby arms and bulging waistlines.
Confidence breeds freedom in our children. And they benefit when their parents take steps in helping them develop positive feelings of self-worth. Here are some simple steps that you can try:
* Be there. Make your child feel appreciated. Set aside time that you will devote solely to her. Do things that she excels in or activities that she loves to do. A favorite activity will always be dress-up. Play pretend with her and dress her up like a princess. Put on some dainty hair accessories on her head. There’s plenty to choose from: pretty little hair bows or cute little hair clips. You can even start a fun collection together!
* Be fair. Do not compare siblings. Or better yet, do not compare them to anyone at all. Each child has a unique set of strengths and it will boost her self-esteem if you highlight these strengths. This will not only make them feel that you do notice, but also motivate them to develop their gifts even more.
* Be realistic. I know, I know, we all want our children to maybe someday rule the world. But sometimes, although our motivations for them to succeed may be sincere, these may also become crushing weight on their shoulders.
* Be emphatic. Avoid judgmental comments. Instead, use more positive terms. Children tend to be less defensive when the problem is cast as a strategy that must be changed rather than as something caused by a deficiency in them. Instead of saying “Try harder,” something positive and emphatic like “Let’s try doing this differently” will motivate them more.
* Be expressive. Hug your child, tell her you love her, make her feel that you are proud of her, be supportive of her. Sometimes, rewarding her for an achievement helps, too. Is she an animal-lover? Maybe she’ll like a pet, or if she’s not ready yet, start small with a cute hair clip with her favorite animal designs.
* Be a positive role model. Okay, so maybe you’re not a hot momma like Angelina Jolie. So are the rest of us mere mortals! What’s worse is rubbing off low self-worth on your perfectly adorable child. Don’t belittle yourself or be unrealistic about your own talents. Make an effort to focus on the good things about you and your child will be encouraged to do the same. Be careful, too, of the images she sees around her. Try to make her understand that she is special the way she is.
These all remind of a recent movie I thoroughly enjoyed with my kids: Kung Fu Panda. It’s a barrel of laughs, for sure, but more importantly, it sends out a message that its young audience badly needs to hear. There is a scene where the panda Po talks to his noodle-making father Mr. Ping. By a fateful string of events, Po ends up being declared the “dragon warrior” and is now his village’s only hope against a feared villain. Being a fluffy panda that has no experience in battle, he has constantly doubted himself. Before the fight, Mr. Ping reveals to him the secret ingredient to his famous “Secret Ingredient Soup.” Mr. Ping says “The secret ingredient is… nothing!” And adds, “To make something special, you just have to believe it’s special.”
We already know our children are special. It’s time to let them see just how special they really are! Much love to your girls :)
Much has already been said about the power and influence that celebrities have over society. Especially these days. Suddenly, it’s not “hot” to be healthy, otherwise you might be called—gasp!—FAT.
Unless you have been sleeping in a cryogenic chamber for the past decade, you would know that not having a 21-inch waist makes you, like, eeeew obese, since “fat” is the new dreaded F word. Now being skin-and-bones is the new “sexy,” promiscuity is trendy and stupidity is cute.
It’s foolish to put all the blame on “the stars above,” of course. To be fair, they’re only humans too and did not wield magical powers to make us involuntarily imitate or tolerate their actions. And there are those who are at the opposite side of the spectrum—who can actually act, for one, and who don’t involve themselves in situations that would compromise their values. The thing is, we don’t see them too often, do we? Because all the cameras love something a lot more juicy.
Sadly, it’s not just us who have been taking notice—kids too. Girls, particularly, who are beginning to take a little longer staring at the mirror, and in their tender ages, wondering “Do I look fat?”
A friend of mine recently told me of one unforgettable day when her lovely, perfectly healthy eight-year-old daughter came up to her and asked earnestly, “Mom, am I fat?” My friend said she started noticing a change in her exuberant, bubbly daughter one summer, when she absolutely refused to get into the pool with her friends as she was too embarrassed to put her swim suit on. Later she would shy away from school activities and would socialize with other kids less and less. The one thing that would cheer her up is whenever my friend would dress her up nicely, with matching cute hair accessories.
As a mother, your child will always be beautiful in your eyes. When she begins looking down on herself, of course, your first impulse is to find out who or what has been breeding such negative feelings in your child. But let’s not forget that children mirror what they see. We have to be very careful. It could be the images of skinny socialites she sees on TV, but it could also be mommy, whom she often hears ranting about flabby arms and bulging waistlines.
Confidence breeds freedom in our children. And they benefit when their parents take steps in helping them develop positive feelings of self-worth. Here are some simple steps that you can try:
* Be there. Make your child feel appreciated. Set aside time that you will devote solely to her. Do things that she excels in or activities that she loves to do. A favorite activity will always be dress-up. Play pretend with her and dress her up like a princess. Put on some dainty hair accessories on her head. There’s plenty to choose from: pretty little hair bows or cute little hair clips. You can even start a fun collection together!
* Be fair. Do not compare siblings. Or better yet, do not compare them to anyone at all. Each child has a unique set of strengths and it will boost her self-esteem if you highlight these strengths. This will not only make them feel that you do notice, but also motivate them to develop their gifts even more.
* Be realistic. I know, I know, we all want our children to maybe someday rule the world. But sometimes, although our motivations for them to succeed may be sincere, these may also become crushing weight on their shoulders.
* Be emphatic. Avoid judgmental comments. Instead, use more positive terms. Children tend to be less defensive when the problem is cast as a strategy that must be changed rather than as something caused by a deficiency in them. Instead of saying “Try harder,” something positive and emphatic like “Let’s try doing this differently” will motivate them more.
* Be expressive. Hug your child, tell her you love her, make her feel that you are proud of her, be supportive of her. Sometimes, rewarding her for an achievement helps, too. Is she an animal-lover? Maybe she’ll like a pet, or if she’s not ready yet, start small with a cute hair clip with her favorite animal designs.
* Be a positive role model. Okay, so maybe you’re not a hot momma like Angelina Jolie. So are the rest of us mere mortals! What’s worse is rubbing off low self-worth on your perfectly adorable child. Don’t belittle yourself or be unrealistic about your own talents. Make an effort to focus on the good things about you and your child will be encouraged to do the same. Be careful, too, of the images she sees around her. Try to make her understand that she is special the way she is.
These all remind of a recent movie I thoroughly enjoyed with my kids: Kung Fu Panda. It’s a barrel of laughs, for sure, but more importantly, it sends out a message that its young audience badly needs to hear. There is a scene where the panda Po talks to his noodle-making father Mr. Ping. By a fateful string of events, Po ends up being declared the “dragon warrior” and is now his village’s only hope against a feared villain. Being a fluffy panda that has no experience in battle, he has constantly doubted himself. Before the fight, Mr. Ping reveals to him the secret ingredient to his famous “Secret Ingredient Soup.” Mr. Ping says “The secret ingredient is… nothing!” And adds, “To make something special, you just have to believe it’s special.”
We already know our children are special. It’s time to let them see just how special they really are! Much love to your girls :)
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