Suffering from Parental Burnout? Here’s How to Cope

Parenting is arguably one of the toughest jobs in the world. In most jobs, once you spot the signs of burnout, you know that it's time to re-evaluate whether or not the job is right for you. Obviously, with parenting, that is not an option!

Don’t worry, you are not alone. Parental burnout is actually common. Working all day and then coming home to keep the house organized AND tending to your children’s needs is a lot of work. Just like anything that you devote your best efforts to, it can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed out. In fact, most of the signs of parental burnout are similar to those of any other job burnout. Daniel Buccino, a director of the Baltimore Psychotherapy Institute, agrees that it's probably the hardest job you'll ever have.

According to Robin F. Goodman, PhD., Director of the A Caring Hand, Billy Esposito Foundation Bereavement Center, parental burnout is often linked to the desire to be a good parent. But if you are in chronic stress, it will make it increasingly difficult to be the best parent that you can be.

It is a common dilemma, but it doesn't have to be the norm for you. Here are some tips to help you address parental burnout:

Pacing is key. View parenting as a marathon, not a sprint. You need to pace yourself. Not everything has to be done all at once.

Find a support group. It's not always easy to admit that we need help but for the sake of your sanity, it’s okay to call on family and friends for support.

Realistic expectations. Keep the expectations of yourself as a parent, and those of your children reasonable and manageable.

Don’t compare. Don’t aspire to be somebody you’re not. It’s very unlikely that your neighbor is Super Mom is real life.

“Me” Time. Believe it or not, you do need that vacation. It’s actually good for your over-all well-being when you take a break every now and then. If you really cannot afford to go anywhere, then at least make sure to take a few minutes or a few hours of rest each day.

Distractions. Especially for parents of little ones, sometimes a little time out helps. If your daughter loves to play dress-up, then you can get her some fancy hair accessories to style her hair with so she can pretend to be a princess. If your active boy fantasizes about riding a spaceship, then you can get him toy space shuttles for him to play with. When the little ones are occupied with something, it gives you a little freedom to relax.

Top 10 Summer Travel Tips

Summer offers so many opportunities to go out and enjoy the world! But traveling with the kiddos can be tricky and sometimes even downright impossible. Here are ten tips from Breezy Mama on how you can make your summer road trips as smooth sailing as possible. These were compiled from Colleen Lanin of TravelMamas.com:

TOP 10 TRAVEL TIPS FOR PARENTS

10. Print a packing list
I used to wrack my brain writing out every little thing I didn’t want to forget before each trip with the kids. It finally occurred to me to save the list and simply modify it for each trip. I have been perfecting that packing list ever since I became a mom five years ago.

9. Keep a separate stash of toys and books for travel.
Sure, a new diversion or two is always fun. But a hidden toy is a forgotten toy. Kids will be psyched to rediscover old favorites on the go, saving you money and effort.

8. Never, ever count on feeding your children food provided on an airplane.
A three-hour delay on the tarmac could easily thwart your plans. Instead, bring plenty of healthy snacks. A steady stream of sliced and dried fruits, whole grain crackers, and pretzels keep kids busy munching instead of fighting or whining. Throw in a few forbidden treats as a reward for good behavior too!

7. Be a hypochondriac.
I keep a zipper-lock bag of every sort of medicine and ointment our family just might need while away from home. This is especially handy when traveling to a foreign country or when embarking on a cruise, where getting familiar medications might be difficult. Even when traveling somewhere close-by where you could easily purchase some teething tablets or cough syrup, do you WANT to run out in the middle of the night in a strange town chasing down something you could have easily packed?

6. Hitting the road? Don’t forget the bucket!
You never know when car sickness will strike and if it does, you need to be prepared. Bring along a bucket (a sand pail will do) or snag an air sickness bag to stow in your car. I learned this one the hard way, people.

Read on about the top 5 tips on Breezy Mama here! Have a (hopefully) sunny adventure!

Image from babble.com.

Another Doting Dad!

We've caught celebrity dads Jude Law and Greg Kinnear getting weak-kneed in adoration for their children. Now it's rocker dad Joel Madden!


In a recent article at Celebrity Baby Blog, he shares how he goes to his darling little Harlow for her reactions to the demos he records:

JOEL MADDEN GRATEFUL FOR HARLOW'S 'HONEST REACTION'

Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden has legions of fans eager to act as a sounding board for the band’s upcoming studio album, Cardiology.

At the end of the day, however, Madden says it is his 2-year-old daughter Harlow Winter Kate whose opinion he values most.

“She says yea or nay when I record a demo,” he explains in a new interview with the Los Angeles Times. “She gives me the honest reaction.”

Happily proclaiming himself “the best I’ve ever been,” Madden is acutely aware of just how much he has to be grateful for in fiancée Nicole Richie, Harlow and the couple’s 7-month-old son Sparrow James Midnight.

“I have two kids that are my life — they’re my entire world,” he says. “I have an awesome partner who is really supportive; She makes me the best version of myself that I’ve ever been.”

To read the rest of the sweet article, click here!

What a lovely family! And I'm especially impressed with Nicole, who seems to have embraced motherhood so fully. To think, not so long ago, we were shaking our heads at her antics with pal Paris Hilton. It seems this change in her life has allowed her to mellow down. Lovely to see.

Image from celebritybabies.people.com.

Cheerios!
Rach

Your Child's Body Image

We live in a world that is obsessed with the external. Everyday, your child is exposed to media that bombards her with images of skinny girls pretending to be overjoyed with their malnourishment. It's no wonder girls as young as 8 or even 6 years old are already concerned about their weight! And this concern should get you concerned.

An article in Breezy Mama addresses how you can help your child have a healthy body image, with tips from pediatrician Dr. Chrystal de Freitas:

BODY IMAGE: TIPS FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD HAVE A HEALTHY ONE

After hearing two six year olds ask one another if they look fat, what would you have recommended I had said?

Children need to be taught that a person’s value is not based on whether they are fat, or on how they look but on how they behave towards others and themselves.

In addition remind children that everyone is different and that our bodies are gifts to them from their parents. Encourage children to find their unique characteristic. This could be that they are funny, athletic, smart, caring and innumerable other traits that make part of our human nature. Nurture that along with a good diet and a healthy portion of exercise.

For moms with older children, what signs should they look for that could indicate an eating disorder?

Signs of an eating disorder may be very subtle and often go unnoticed for months. If your child is experiencing a rapid weight loss, always makes an excuse for not eating, starts to use baggy clothing (as a way to hide the weight loss), plays with his/her food shifting it around in the plate but not eating it – all of these can be red flags. You may also notice an almost obsessive compulsion to exercise. In the more extreme cases, a girl may miss her period, feel light headed and complain of temperature changes – being too cold. These are just a few of the many signs of an eating disorder.

What steps should they take if they suspect their child may have one?

You should visit your health care provider and be open with your concerns. Periodic weight checks and close follow up with a mental health professional may be needed as well as with a nutritionist.

To read the rest of this insightful article, click here!

PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
Have you ever noticed such behavior from your children? How did you deal with it? Do you think a parent's self-esteem will impact how his/her own children will see themselves?

Cheerios!
Rach

10 Things You Should Know About Your Newborn

Unfortunately, babies don't come with a manual. But don't let all the hassle and frazzle rob you of the joys of motherhood!

For starters, here are 10 weird but normal things you should know about your baby, from thebump.com:

1. Cradle cap

What's the deal? There's no way around it -- cradle caps are pretty gross. But they're also pretty common. How come? Honestly, nobody knows for sure. The good news is any dryness or flakiness will usually disappear within baby's first few months (though for some, random flare ups could go on for longer). In the meantime, try rubbing baby oil on the patches two or three times a week. Dr. Alanna Levine, parenting expert and pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in New York, suggests making it a routine before baby's bath and scraping the caps off with a fine-toothed comb.

When to worry: Luckily, there's not too much worrying you need to do about this one -- it's basically nothing more than a common rash. But if it spreads beyond baby's scalp or seems to be growing more severe, ask your doc about getting a prescription ointment.

2. Explosive poop

What's the deal? Okay, maybe our use of the word "explosive" was a bit much. But the truth is, you haven't been officially initiated into parenthood until you've had to deal with a diaper explosion or two. In other words, you're not the first mom to clean baby poop off those newly painted nursery walls. For a little schooling on the physics of it all, Dr. Levine breaks it down: "Newborn poop is mostly liquid with some mustard-seed texture mixed in," she says. "As a result, it doesn't take much power to propel it across a room." Grossed out yet? Just wait until you’ve got an "up-the-backer" on your hands.

When to worry: As long as it has color (ranging from brown to green to yellow) and some seedy particles in it, baby's poop should be good to go. But if you spot any signs of blood, Dr. Levine says it's time to get on the phone with your doc.
3. Baby boobage

What's the deal? Remember those wacky hormones that plagued your entire pregnancy? (How could you forget?) Well, they did a number on baby too. And, unfortunately, one of the side effects of hanging out in your belly for 9 months can be...well, large boobs. Baby's exposure to your hormones can often cause breast tissue to develop, since it takes a while for the hormones to wear off. But don't stress, they're generally nothing to be concerned about and should go away in time.

When to worry: Notice any redness around baby's breast? If so, Dr. Levine also suggests taking baby's temp, to see if the redness is accompanied by a fever. These symptoms may be a sign of something more serious, and reason to get baby checked out.

For the rest of the helpful tips, click here!

The adorable baby girl in the photo is wearing a No Slippy Hair Clippy Mimi Double Dot Baby Bow! Just because she barely has hair doesn't mean she can't accessorize! With the clip's non-slip grip that doesn't tug or pull at her hair, you are assured it'll stay put.

PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
What things happened to your baby that you thought were weird, but turned out normal? How did you deal with it? If you could choose just one important lesson you learned from motherhood, what would it be?

Cheerios!
Rach

A Doting Daddy

I find it so precious how little girls can get their dads weak-kneed in adoration for them, especially if these dads openly admit it! Last time, we talked about how Jude Law's will was broken by his little girl.

This time, it's Greg Kinnear, who grew up with a brood of active boys but ironically ended up with three lovely girls. It's endearing how he is already preparing himself to wait on the porch with a shotgun for when little six-month-old Kate starts dating! He recently shared with People.com:



GREG KINNEAR LEARNS HIS LITTLE LADIES' LANGUAGE

Coming from a brood of boys, Greg Kinnear can rough and tumble with the best of them.

However, when life with wife Helen Labdon dished out daughters, the actor found himself trading it all in for tea parties.

“My grandfather had two boys, my uncle had three boys, my dad had me and my two brothers, each of my brothers have had two boys,” he told David Letterman on The Late Show last week.

“Then something happened with the chromosomal experiment and suddenly I’ve got three girls!”

As a result, Kinnear has been forced to learn a whole new language when it comes to sibling squabbles among Lily Katherine, 6 ½, Audrey Mae, 3 ½, and Kate, 6 months, lovingly referred to as ‘Katie Crunch Bomb’ by her sisters.

“All the tools I have are things like, ‘If your brother punches you, you punch him back harder,’” he jokes. “I have no skills [to say], ‘That’s a lovely gown honey, look at you!’”

And despite being “so ill-prepared” for his group of girls, Kinnear — and his wallet! – are catching on.

“Let me tell you something, you figure it out real quick. They say, ‘Well, you’ll pay for it later and as far as I can tell, I’m paying for it out the arse right now!” he laughs. “It’s expensive and there’s no stimulus package for dads with daughters.”

However, the “cute little cliché” is still relevant according to The Last Song star.

Quick to point out that while Letterman will be relaxing once son Harry is grown, Kinnear, 46, jokes that he’ll be stationed on the front porch.

“I do have a shotgun so there will come a time where you’ll be hanging out and having a good time. The son is fine, but [I'll be dealing with] the daughter thing.”

Even so, despite life’s unexpected surprise, Kinnear is happy with his lovely ladies — and insists he’s not pining for a son.

“Coming from boys I feel very lucky having them,” he confesses. “They’re really great.”

Image from igossip.com

What a fun bunch! With Greg's girls growing up, we've got just the thing for them! And we're sure they'd love to know that it's named after them!

Audrey Organza Baby Bow (in 8 colors)

Lily Satin Heart Baby Bow (in 4 colors)

Now we just need to wait for baby Kate to grow a little more hair and we might come up with a clippy named after her!

If you've got a lovely girl of your own, check out or website for more styles! Who knows, you might find something with your girl's name on it :o)

PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
If you have daughters, is your hubby more protective of them? Or is it the same between your sons and daughters? When you were younger, how did your father deal with you dating?

Cheerios!
Rach

Losing It

Sometimes, kids make it very difficult to just grin and bear it. Sometimes, you just want to throw a tantrum yourself. But as a parent, you know that you have to set a good example because ultimately, you are one of the biggest influences in your child's life. How you handle circumstances will reflect how your child would react to the same circumstances when he/she has to face them. So what do you do when you're on the verge of losing it?

A recent article from breezymama.com clues us in:

THINGS TO DO IF YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER

7. Walk Away
While this seems like a ‘no brainer’, disengaging is often the very thing we fail to do. We stay engaged in the upset, our energy & frustration increases – our child’s energy & frustration increase and pretty soon, we’ve got a mess on our hands. If we could begin practicing walking away, then we can calm ourselves down, figure out what we want to be teaching our children and how we want to respond.

6. See Where Your Child is Right
I know this seems counter-intuitive to what we’re supposed to do, but by seeing where your child is right, you can get their perspective, begin to understand their feelings and see how they see you in this situation. In addition, you will no longer be viewing them as wrong which will go a long way.

5. Breathe
Breathing allows your nervous system to relax, gives you some time to calm down and respond instead of reacting and brings new energy to this situation.

4. Look at What’s REALLY Going on
If you find that you are losing your temper repeatedly or over the same situation then take the time to figure out what’s really going on. What is causing that situation to be a “hot button” for you? Why does it bother you so much? It probably has much more to do with you than it does your child and finding out will give you peace in other areas of your life, as well.

3. Do a Make-Up
When we make a mess, we clean it up. When we break something, we fix it. And when we disturb a relationship, we do something called a Make-Up. Make-ups are your way of doing, saying or contributing to the one you’ve disturbed your relationship with to re-establish harmony and peace (And it can be fun!).

To see the rest of this much-needed advice, click here!

Image from sxc.hu

Your Teen's Love Language

I'm not a mother yet, but I do spend a lot of time with my mom. And I know how difficult it can be for her to communicate with us (especially with my teenage siblings... oh alright, with me too although I'm older now).

Once we become teenagers, so many changes took place not just on the outside but also on the inside. Sometimes it gets confusing trying to adjust to these changes. It's a forked road: we're no longer children, yet we're not yet adults. In the process of "finding ourselves," we tend to pull away from our parents. But it doesn't mean that we want them out of our lives--or at least that wasn't the case for me! There were simply so many new emotions raging inside me that I didn't know how to express. In truth, I still loved and needed my parents, even as much as when I was a kid. I just wasn't sure how to express it.

I recently came across an article from Families.com written by a mom of teens. It's about knowing your children's "love languages." It's interesting and insightful. Let me know what you think:

LEARN YOUR TEEN'S LOVE LANGUAGE

"One of my favorite books that I have read more than once is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This book talks about the different love languages that we have. They are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Most of us enjoy all of these love languages but we tend to especially appreciate one or two more than the others.

By reading this book not only do you discover what your primary love language is but you also realize that it's usually the love language you show toward other people. The problem with that is we may not be speaking their love language. So we need to figure out what other people's love language is.

I have learned to do this with my children. In fact there is a specific book Gary Chapman has written for parents called "The Five Love Languages of Children." I think this is especially helpful when raising tweens and teens. Relationships between parents and children tend to take a turn when they become tweens. It becomes different and because of that, many times parents are unsure how to walk this new path. But if you learn your teenager's love language and speak it to them, you really can't go wrong.

My oldest son who turns 16 next week is a very quiet, shy and introverted person. Although his personality traits need to be taken into account as our relationship grows and develops, I especially need to pay attention to his love language. The love language that speaks to him is words of affirmation. He tends to question and doubt himself which I think has a lot to do with his personality so he especially thrives on hearing encouraging words.

My daughter who is on the verge of turning 13 is not real shy but not real out there either. She is in the middle and actually that is very fitting since she really is our middle child. She is a balance of my oldest and youngest sons. However her primary love language is quality time. She especially enjoys when we have mother/daughter nights. Spending time with her means the most.

Then there is my youngest son who is a tween. He is the wild, crazy one of the bunch. He is very social and loves life. His primary love language is gift giving. He just lights up when he receives a gift.

As for myself, my primary love language is acts of service. Do you know which love language I tend to speak the most? Yes, acts of service. It is easy for me to get sucked into thinking that others enjoy that love language; however, I need to nurture the primary love language of each of my children. When I do that I notice that our relationship is better and communication is stronger. They feel more connected to me.

Learn your teen's love language and I can bet you will see a more positive change in your relationship."

You may also read the article here.

Image from sheknows.com

Cheerios!
Rach

It's Okay to Have a Messy Room!

Yup, you read that right. Apparently, there are benefits to letting your child have a messy room. I read an interesting article from Families.com and I knew I had to share it for laughs! Read on and let me know what you think!

TOP 10 REASONS YOU SHOULD LET YOUR CHILD HAVE A MESSY ROOM

1. It can enhance your child's balance and coordination skills. As they have to weave around the objects on their floor, leap into bed, and scale the mound of clothes without slipping.

2. Memory skills are improved. As your child struggles to remember where they left their library book, under the bed or maybe on the desk, they are working their memory. After all doesn't every parent want his or her child to develop a good memory?

3. Handyperson skills are developed. As they learn the fine art of unjamming a drawer that is stuffed too full of clothes. This could come in handy when they are a parent themselves.

4. The art of positive thinking is learned. As they think to themselves, "This room looks great. I know where everything is. I like it this way. It reflects who I am." In some cases this art is very finely developed.

5. They learn the power of persuasion as they convince parents and siblings to help them clean. This lesson is especially potent when they share a room with a sibling.

6. The idea that they have their own rights, space, and privacy is established. They learn that their room is a place where "parents won't violate their values and standards of cleanliness." If you can even say messy room and cleanliness in the same sentence?

You can read the rest of the reasons here! Come on, you know you want to...

Cheerios!
Rach

Fab Tips from a Fab Mom

When it comes to being fabulous, very few women come close to Kimora Lee Simmons. She is so fabulous in fact, that she even coined a term to describe the art of being fab like her: FABULOSITY.

But before I get busted by the Grammar Police, this post isn't just about her--ermmm--fabulosity. It's about how she can be her larger-than-life self and still be a loving mother to her little girls.



Well, wonder no further because she has revealed her top 10 parenting tips recently at MyStyle.com!

Kimora's Top 10 Parenting Tips

1. Happiness Is Inside: Great shoes or handbags can make you feel fabulous but only temporarily. It's fun to look cute, but I teach my girls that bliss from material goodies will fade like a candy high if they lack substance underneath all the sparkle and shine.

2. Live Generously: My girls and I regularly go through their rooms to find clothes and toys to donate to charities. I firmly believe that children who have been given so much need to experience the joy that comes from giving. All children can do things to help, whether how big or small—by donating toys or lending a hand in the community.

3. Expose Children to Different Cultures, Places and People: Even if you can't afford to travel the world, you can take your children to the museum, zoo or local park. And don't be afraid to take them to grownup spots. Eating out in a restaurant teaches children how to be quiet and polite—and gives them the pleasure of knowing you trust them to behave.

4. Make Time for Fun: I encourage my children to try new things—dance, tennis, soccer, you name it, I want them to try it. But I don't want them to feel like they have to take every class just to please me. Kids need time to be kids! My recipe for good parenting includes a healthy dose of discipline and a lot of love.

5. Embrace Uniqueness: Don't try to blend in with all the other moms—it's OK to stand out from the crowd and be yourself. The best way to teach children to resist peer pressure is to resist it yourself.

For the rest of her fab tips, you can read the original article here!

Image from celebrtystyle.about.com

PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
If you were to make your own list of tips, what would you include? How do you make yourself feel fabulous?

Cheerios!
Rach

Time Out... NOT!

How do you deal with that?

Children seem to be born with a tanrum switch. And boy, do they have the perfect timing to turn it on! Once it's on, you can be sure it will NOT be turned off for a long time. Or at least until you finally can't take any more and give in to their whims. But you don't want to spoil your child, do you?

So how do you deal with tantrums? People have different parenting styles. Likewise, they have different ways of disciplining their children. Some are spankers, some are shouters, some give time out. But these, especially the last one, seem to have lost their magic powers to induce universal submission.

Here are tips from the lovely site breezymama.com from Amy McCready, parenting coach and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions.

10 THINGS YOU CAN DO INSTEAD OF "TIME OUT"

1. Give a Giant Hug – Do the unexpected! When your child misbehaves he’s waiting for the hammer, instead, do just the opposite of what he expects. He’ll be thrown completely off-guard!

2. Walk Away – “But I can’t let her get away with that!” You’re not “letting her get away with it.” You’re just choosing to NOT engage in the power struggle by walking away. You’ll deal with the behavior later when everyone (including you!) is calm.

3. Take a Deep Breath – This can do wonders for the mind and body. Sometimes after a deep breath, the infraction doesn’t seem like such a big deal after all.

4. Whisper - Kids expect parents to lecture, reprimand or yell. Instead…WHISPER – it will get their attention!

5. Do something silly! Again, do the unexpected! Instead of “laying down the law” do something silly and totally unexpected. You’ll diffuse the power struggle so you can focus on solutions calmly with respect.

6. Think about WHY the child is behaving that way. Focus on “the WHY,” not the behavior. That helps you target the root cause of the misbehavior, not the symptom.

7. Consider YOUR role in the misbehavior. Did you invite the power struggle with your tone of voice?

8. Encourage! “You are really growing up and I know you’ll make a better choice next time.”

9. Divert attention to something else. Instead of jumping to Time Out – get the child involved in a more productive activity.

10. Ignore the Behavior. Drawing attention to the misbehavior actually causes it to continue and even escalate. (The child gets an “attention or power fix”) Instead, ignore the behavior when it makes sense.

PONDER, PONDER, PONDER...
Has "time out" ever worked for you? How do you discipline your children? What's your parenting style?

Photo from Jupiter Images